Many say that we teach the things that we need to learn for ourselves. Over the last month or so I have been taking a deep dive inwards because for me, it is only through doing the inner work that we can hope to gain what we want on the outside. It has been rather a rollercoaster of a journey often quite raw at times but I guess that’s the nature of transformation. I go inwards using colour therapy and just lately I have been on the golden journey, examining what blocks me being in my full power and exploring the different faces of fear. Discover more of what I learnt.
The cycle of life is really a spiral. This is a wonderful thought because it means if we don’t fully integrate a principle or understand an idea, it doesn’t matter because we will meet it later on. So we don’t have to rush at things, get intense about what is happening. We take what we need at that time knowing the time for deeper learning will present itself. How freeing is that?
Embodiment, the concept of giving tangible or visible form to an idea, quality or feeling has been part of my journey. Thanks to Beth Follini, I discovered Wendy Palmer’s work many years ago. I got so far with the training but didn’t complete it because I wasn’t ready at that time. Now I feel it calling me again so if it is meant to be I will take it up again.
When I was doing embodiment work with Wendy Palmer what struck me most was a particular exercise about success. So often people crave for success. At a certain level they believe that more money or greater recognition is what will make them happy AND then as became apparent through the exercise, often we are not ready for success.
I mention that here because it is definitely a theme that I have been seeing with clients of late. They have come to me because they want to move from good to great. They want their business to really take off. We start doing the work and then they can become paralysed by fear.
I know what this is like as I experienced it when I was redesigning my website. I got so far with the project and felt unable to continue. It was only thanks to the loving support of Anya Pearse that I made it through. And here are some tools which may help.
According to a rabbi called Alan Lew there are two types of fear based on the Hebrew translation of the old testament.
- Pachadis “projected or imagined fear,” the “fear whose objects are imagined.” That, in contemporary terms, is what we might think of as over-reactive, irrational, reptilian brain fear: the fear of horrible rejection that will destroy us or the fear that we will simply explode if we step out of our comfort zones.
- There is a second Hebrew word for fear,yirah. Rabbi Lew describes yirah as “the fear that overcomes us when we suddenly find ourselves in possession of considerably more energy than we are used to, inhabiting a larger space than we are used to inhabiting. It is also the feeling we feel when we are on sacred ground.
If you are someone who has felt a calling in your heart, you have uncovered an authentic dream for your life, and felt a mysterious sense of inner inspiration around a project or idea then this will probably speak to you.
Interestingly people often conflate or confuse the two types of fear, and simply refer to both of these types of experience as “fear.” But we can discern them more closely, and in doing so more effectively manage fear so it doesn’t get in our way.
Next time you feel fear:
1.Ask yourself: what part of this fear is pachad? Write down the imagined outcomes you fear, the reptilian brain fears. Then check in with your wise self by asking how real these are? Wait for the answer.
- Savour yirah. Next ask yourself: what part of this fear is yirah?You’ll know yirah because it has a tinge of exhilaration and awe -while pachad has a sense of threat and panic. Lean into – and look for – the callings and leaps that bring yirah.
If you find that difficult then you may wish to delve into the Work by Byron Katie . She recognizes that we are not our thoughts. Just following the start of the process can give you more clarity. Ask yourself these four questions:
- Is this true? Wait for a yes or no from deep within
- Can I absolutely know this is true?
- How do I react when I believe this thought?
- Who am I without this thought?
To go deeper and get a real sense of how to use Byron Katie’s process then do read this excellent blog by Corrina Gordon-Brown .
So when I had that feeling of fear. I realised that in part it was very much linked to being more visible. I felt that I would be under more scrutiny from people that others might start judging me and find out that I am only human and don’t always get it right. At some level that felt terrifying for a while until I realised that actually my clients like the fact that I am real that I am not glitzy and highly polished. It means that I am natural and that makes me more accessible.
So as long as we are not pretending to be something we are not then all will be well. The first step is to come out from behind the mask. The second is to ask for help if you need it. No one can get through life on their own. We are designed to connect with others.
Yes it takes courage to step up but as soon as you do. You are saying to the Universe that you are ready and the good things will start to flow. What I have learnt is that life is about being “perfectly imperfect.” A thought is just a thought.
If you struggle with that then do join me on my next weekend retreat based on these and other mindfulness techniques to help you stand in your power in an authentic way. You can find more info and book here.