In this week’s article, Kate Griffiths explores what it takes to move from a place of fear to a place of trust by suggesting a five step process. This is also the juice that allows cohesive communities to form.
I was very privileged to be invited by John Kelvin to join a G+ community last year called Conversation. It is an honour to be amongst such great minds and I am also very grateful to Joachim Stroh who gave me permission to use this photo in my article. Add to that the fact that indirectly it has helped with a question that I have been exploring for about two years which is how do we build cohesive communities? That question became my focus because of two experiences I have had. The first was more than a decade of working for a global professional services firm, which was in fact much more like being self-employed in that each person was responsible for building their own network and finding paid work within the system. The other formative experience was having children and discovering that many people wanted toddler groups and other amenities as long as someone else was willing to run them.
In the first the level of distrust was palpable and often showed up in the types of behaviour that I witnessed because of the extent of dissonance; in the second example the theme was a reluctance to take responsibility because of a fundamental belief in separation and probably a fear that they would not have any support. For me trust is at the core of all this because when you have trust you know that you are connected to something bigger than you and you have probably glimpsed and possibly even have an intimate relationship with your true self. If you are in a fearful place then what are the steps you need to take to get to trust?
The first step is awareness – awareness of the fear and levels of toxicity in your environment. This is huge because it comes when you have realisation that the prevailing paradigm is not true. It is built on myths like it is a tough world out there; that you won’t succeed unless you are better than your competition – to name just a couple of the unquestioned answers. There is a yearning to be more than just surviving… a longing to discover what thriving looks like.
The second step could be learning how to be around the fear flooding your system. It is about being able to see it as just one of the guests that come into your house and with time to be able to welcome it in. It is not about fixing it just learning to accept it.
The next is about self-trust and being compassionate towards yourself. It is about taking Eric Berne’s message to heart that is seeing yourself as ok and others as ok. It is at this point that you will start finding it easier to access your intuition and start to follow its guidance.
The next step is about building up a higher vibration because you are an energetic being and if you have been based in a toxic environment or a needy one where you have others clamouring for your attention then it is quite likely you will be emanating a low frequency. One of the quickest ways to do this is to spend a few minutes each day considering what you are grateful for and seeing if you can get to ten things. That may be a stretch to start with so go for three initially.
Lastly it is important to discover what you are passionate about – mindfulness practices are a great way to tune into your body, which will help you discover your passions. When work becomes play and you have fun the rest is so much easier.
The problem with writing out steps is that they can seem like a prescription and make the whole process seem linear. It is not there are many bumpy bits along the way that is why it can help to get some outside support in the form of a coach or a good programme. What I can promise is that the more trust you place in yourself, the more it will show up in your external reality and then opportunities will start popping up and everything will start to flow. This can happen in different ways but one is that more people will want to connect with you and tap into who you are becoming. This is when you get a sense of the wider network around you and being part of a community and with time you will get to taste trust as a deliverable at the collective level.