trust your heartIn this article, Kate Griffiths explores what truth is and why it can be so elusive in our communications as well as sharing what can happen when you are more truthful in your dealings with others.

I discovered a new networking group on Friday night, which I loved so much that I will go back again even though it is on a Friday night.  There was an amazing energy there and we got to see people’s true essence.  I mention it because seeing someone without a mask on is rare.
What struck me is how difficult people find it to share their truth at times.  Why is that?  There is the fear of being rejected, misunderstood or judged.  This probably comes because in third dimension reality, interactions come from ego and personality rather than true essence, which just accepts what is.

What is truth?

It comes from what we believe, which is based on our values and this then shows up in our habits and behaviours.  We interpret what is happening to us all the time.

How do we do this?

We have a series of filters that sorts all the data that bombards us into patterns and ideas and so most of the time, most of us are drawing conclusions based on a partial data set – you could say this process is a bit like wearing rose-tinted spectacles.

What determines your filters?

Filters are developed from an early age.  Everyone receives a certain amount of conditioning from his/ her family.  We are also subjected to conditioning by society.  This is often more subtle and comes through in the adverts we see on TV, through the way different media report on what is happening in the world.

How do you actually discover what is true for you?
The first step is becoming more mindful of how you behave.  A friend of mine, who has a thyroid condition, decided to write down all of her symptoms so that she could explain more precisely to the endocrinologist what was happening.  In doing that she experienced a great insight.  She saw a recurring pattern in her behaviour that had an impact on her health.  As a result of her enquiry and mindfulness, she has a better understanding of her cycle of behaviour and is acting on that information.

Mindfulness is about giving yourself the space to truly see yourself – your beliefs, values and behaviours – so you can make more informed choices about how you respond in situations rather than just reacting.  It is also the first step towards crystal clear communication

Your challenge should you choose to accept it:
Get centred and then share your truth about something that is troubling you to people involved if you feel safe with them and see what happens.  I bet you will receive great learning and possibly even a sense of liberation and therefore want to take a bigger risk next time.  I shared very openly with the two other people I am working with on a project today and as a result; it has brought us closer together.  Remember every time you censor yourself, you are playing small rather than being a leader, and to a certain extent you are censoring others you are working with too because they will sense when you are holding something back but may not feel able to broach it.

I would love to hear your thoughts below and about how you get on with this experiment so do leave a comment below.


Kate Griffiths is a qualified coach, speaker, community leader and writer, who is fascinated by the power of conversation. She teaches business owners, leaders and teams how to communicate effectively to build stronger relationships and thereby improve the possibilities for innovation and collaboration.

Kate is also the Community Relations Director of the 7 Graces Project, a thriving community and emerging social enterprise. The aim of the 7 Graces Project will be to provide an educational alternative and business incubator for a new generation of ethical, community-focused businesses.

Monday’s musing: why is being truthful difficult even for people who value honesty?
Tagged on: