In this article Kate Griffiths shares a story about transition and offers strategies on how to manage it. She writes from the perspective of a small business owner, where you are your business. Daunting though change can be, remember order emerges from chaos
In August I chose these two bottles when asked what represented where I was and where I was going in my business. Why these particular bottles? Probably in part because they are so contrasting and also because I had already been working with Unity, the clear one. Interestingly, the black one is anything but black. Have you ever noticed that about black that there are other colours hidden within it? In short the black bottle among other things represents rebirth along the lines of the phoenix arising from the ashes. The kind of rebirth that is only possible when you have died to yourself. So we are not talking the small stuff here
At the time all I could see was the huge potential in the message and was very excited about what could happen. Six weeks on, I can honestly say it feels as my dear friend Elaine commented this week as if I have been running at 100 miles an hour to keep up; and as is often the case, I have needed periods of time in hibernation to allow the process to unfold. One of the things I am more conscious of are the symbols that have shown up to mirror this shift. For example over the summer a bat flew into the house and circled around for a good ten minutes before finding the doorway out. In shamanic terms, Bats signal transition. If, like me, you live with other people then this kind of change doesn’t just impact on you, it also has major ramifications in their lives too! Let me unpack that further for you.
Decluttering on a physical level is a great way to also release old patterns of behaviour and thoughts that no longer serve you. In effect as you clear your space, then there is room for new ideas and thoughts to be cultivated. Quite unprompted I have felt the need to blitz our living space and get rid of anything that we no longer need. A boot full of stuff went to a friend of mine who runs the the local toy library; followed by five bags to the charity shop and another five to go. We have also revamped one bathroom getting rid of an old chest that was falling apart and replacing it with a cheap storage unit that allows us to see the towels in all their colour.
During levels of upheaval you will probably notice additional levels of exhaustion so it is important to recognise even more strongly the need for self care. For me that has meant little to no television in the evenings; less reading; more baths; massages along with meditation, daily appreciations, giving myself reiki and designing my own special routine as I go to bed. A bedtime routine is key because it ensures that you are choosing what messages to send to your unconscious as you fall asleep. Curious to find out more then check out our October challenge in Sacred Soul Space.
Emotional and spiritual signs
This whole area can offer the biggest challenges because often you have not been supported in being able to express your emotions. A conversation with a client recently made me realise that it was important to articulate the emotional upheaval because it may well help you if you find yourself in a similar space. I have included spiritual here because the two are entwined for me.
Taking a panoramic perspective, we are in the midst of a huge shift from the masculine form of power to a more feminine style of leadership. What does that mean? On one level it is about accepting that what is is and that means practising detachment and recognition that it is no longer possible to control any aspect of life. The harder you try to control the outcome, the more stress you will feel.
As women, the more that we find our voice and step into our power, the more isolated our partners can feel if they have been used to taking charge. There is a subtle shift in the relationship. You no longer need your partner, you choose to be with them. If your partner has been the more dominant party in the relationship, they are going to have to start redefining their role and that can be hugely challenging. It can lead to denial, frustration and resistance. It also means that you have to found additional resources of love, compassion and patience holding the space so that they feel safe.
Final tips on how to manage such a shift?
The main way that I have found which works is to have a clear idea of where you want to go. Keep hold of the vision, don’t fixate on the hows. Ultimately trust that you are in exactly the right place for you right now and be with whatever unfolds. And remember out of chaos comes order.
To summarise it is important that you give yourself space and are especially kind to yourself during this time. And remember as you embrace this change and see the positive in it, you will transform the way you experience it: avoidance just prolongs the agony. It can also help to have the support of a coach especially one that understands first hand about what you are dealing with.
Kate Griffiths works with individuals and business owners to create more ease and flow in their lives. Clients include conscious business owners and leaders who recognise that the old paradigm way of doing things does not work and want support in determining what the new ways of doing business look like. She is passionate about creating conversations that lead to change and has developed her own process to do that called connection through conversation. If you want to find out more about the power of colour then do book a colour taster session with either Kate or Elaine at the Herts Health and Wholeness Festival on Saturday.
Kate is also the co-founder of Art of Leadership, a consultancy which supports organisations with their leadership challenges in a very creative way.