This month I started a six month virtual retreat!  Over the last year the whispers have been getting louder and louder until I could not ignore them any more.  I took the plunge.  Initially I was shocked as I am one of nearly 2,500 people. I could not see how it would work.  And yet strangely it is.  The focus is on your relationships and we were told that it was highly likely they would get triggered.  I am only two weeks in and I have been noticing so much already….

What has this got to do with selling and business you might ask? I would say everything.  No one wants to be sold to and therein lies the conundrum how do you let potential clients know what the offer is without pushing for a sale.

Building a new relationship starts with you

Imagine if you invite someone into your house for a coffee, you wouldn’t start flogging them bits of the furniture would you? If like me you are known for your impatience, be aware of that quality and give yourself a moment to get centred before you connect with anyone.  Talk to your inner child reassure them that there’s plenty of time and be open to whatever shows up in the moment.

And then when you are in conversation, use your intuition.  Earlier this week I was in a conversation and I got a very loud prompt a number of times to ask the person I was with quite a direct question.  Eventually I followed my intuition and yes it was a bold move with someone I barely knew and yet it really opened up the conversation and took it to another level.

Allow for spaciousness

Really pay attention to how you are feeling in your body too because chances are that the other person is having similar feelings because we share energy and so it’s contagious. This is easier when you create space in a conversation.  By pressing pause using the breath you can really feel into what is in the space between you.  If it feels off comment on that so you can explore it.  The other person will be relieved very often and thankful.  It gives you an opportunity to address it before it becomes a major issue.

Fools rush in…

I had a really challenging conversation this week which led to a degree of rejection that hurt. When I reflected, I realised that in my eagerness to add value I had launched into rescue mode without waiting to be invited or checking first by asking a question. The barriers went up in the other person and they started to extricate themselves from the conversation.

At that point I recognised what was happening and I called it.  To a degree it was salvaged.  And as I reflected deeper on what had happened I was reminded that so often we tend to love in others what we love in ourselves.  We are resistant to things that we cannot be with in ourselves.  As I sat with that I realised that what had happened in this situation was that we both felt unseen and unloved as we were.  Our inner children felt excluded and so wreaked havoc and sabotaged the conversation.

Be gentle on yourself…

If that happens to you be gentle on yourself because a part of you will probably want to run away rather than be with what appears to be a car crash.  Acknowledge that.  Let your inner child know it’s ok and cradle her/ him in your arms.  Self soothing is a great way to get back to equilibrium.  My antidote is to take some time out of my work day by doing something for me.  Right now that looks like a 20 minute salt bath and I can’t wait.

To conclude:

What I am really saying is that we are both human and Divine.  And our human side can be needy and require reassurance and lots of love.  This is easier to accept and see if we see it as the child within us.  The child that perhaps did not get what it needed as a child.  In this way we can start to self-parent and that will have a powerful impact on all your relationships both business and personal. Good luck and feel free to get in touch and let me know what happens when you put these tips into practice.