In this week’s stillness is the access point to your essence, I focused on our relationship to the earth and I reminded those in the group that when you reconfigure the letters of earth, you make heart.
When we start to take a look at the seasons, we can find analogies with our main relationships in life. Let me explain…..
Spring is in the air at the beginning
When you meet a new love, it is exciting and often we fall in love with all of life. I remember when I met my husband I felt as if I was walking on air and I still remember the day I was in the office having just spoken to him; and in a dream-like state I sat down and completely missed my chair and fell straight to the floor!
All my senses were filled with the relationship and I could not get enough of it; and I looked forward to every meeting and spending time with him. It was so exciting and was like Spring with so much coming into flower, representing new growth and potential.
Now over 20 years later, that relationship feels to be in a very different stage. In many ways it is quite like the tree in the photo. We have weathered some big challenges in our life and stayed together, even grown stronger because of it. The newness and excitement that I felt in the Spring of our love has given way to Autumn. The relationship is as solid as this tree and there are some gorgeous hues of gold, orange, red and brown. Some parts have died off or are in the process of dying off to allow for new growth.
Natural cycle of relationships
This is the natural rhythm of all relationships. For example I have gone through the whole cycle with a couple of people over the last year. I was so grateful to have some wonderful women come into my life to help my transition from one phase of my life in business to another. We now no longer need that relationship so we are recognising that we are complete with it and so gracefully we let the relationship go, allowing space for something new to emerge.
In some cases this whole process of releasing happened very quickly. In others it is happening over a period of three months. There is no sadness, merely recognition of the cycle of life.
What happens when people resist this cycle?
Sometimes one partner is not willing to allow the circle of life to flow through the relationship. When that happens especially if that person is unwilling to cede power and wants control it can lead to emotional and sometimes physical abuse in a relationship. Abuse in relationships is not as rare as you might think.
The impact of lockdown
One in five offences recorded by police during and immediately after the first national lockdown in England and Wales in 2020 involved domestic abuse and represented a 7% increase from the same period in 2019. That’s only the reported cases. In my experience emotional and physical abuse can occur in relationships which may appear idyllic or even good on the surface to those outside the relationship. I always remind myself that no one knows what’s happening inside a relationship except the people within it.
What are five top signs of emotional abuse?
- The perpetrator knows what matters to you and will constantly chip away at you on that topic and be hyper critical of your abilities in that area.
- You will find you have very little privacy and that they do not respect your boundaries.
- They can be very manipulative.
- They tend to be possessive and controlling.
- They often dismiss you and your feelings.
Domestic abuse is the systematic suffocation of another person’s spirit. This is why it can be so hard to leave. The wounds inflicted by words can be as annihilating as physical violence. A first step can be showing yourself some kindness.
Many of my clients have suffered this kind of abuse in childhood that they are looking to heal and in some cases the pattern has continued or started up in adulthood. Colour enables clients to go very deep because it works at an energetic level. Also they feel held in the space.
Both with young people and adults in such situations, I have noticed that they have particular bottles in their colour DNA blueprint which make them more prone to bullying and abuse. Working with colour together we can shift this often subconscious pattern so that they can heal the effects of abuse. Do get in touch if you want to know more. As Jung said we are not what has happened to us but what we choose to become.