In this article Kate Griffiths explains that life unfolds magically as your embrace your hidden wholeness. That comes when you have a quiet mind and an open heart and she explains how you can do that by drawing on her experience of creating a sacred space for the soul.
Earlier this week I met with those who are engaging on an experiment with me to see what happens when we create a sacred space for the soul. We reviewed what the purpose of the group was and we discovered so much. There was huge appreciation for a safe space where people could bring their whole selves out to play. That is enough in itself. The findings reminded me so much of the work of Parker J Palmer who wrote in A Hidden Wholeness:
Community….sometimes points to a group of people with a shared commitment to making an external impact of some sort, from changing one another to changing the world.
But a circle of trust has no such agenda….It’s singular purpose is to support the inner journey of each person in the group, to make each soul feel safe enough to show up and speak its truth, to help each person listen to his or her inner teacher.
Why is it so difficult to take down the mask? Everybody gets conditioned; let me explain how. As a young person the world probably felt dangerous to you and you learnt to hide your essence or true self behind a wall because it was not safe to share your whole self everywhere. That may have been your experience at home or at school. Initially this seemed to work because you felt safer. The problem is that that protection mechanism then pervades your life and you become a stranger to your true self. A wall goes up between your soul and your roles in the world: it blocks so much that actually what you start experiencing disconnection. At some point you become aware of this disconnection, feel the pain that it causes; the pressure builds and can well up and thereby crack the wall.
This leads to another phase, a longing to integrate so that we can live our lives by our hidden values. In spiritual communities we talk about being centred. Visually it is as if the wall bends and the two ends meet to form a circle. It is not wholeness however; it is like living in a gated community and declaring that you only want to be with like-minded people. That way leads to group think, safety at the very least and most probably judgement because we filter out anyone that challenges our inner truth.
It reminds me of what one of the first members said who joined Sacred Space for the Soul and that was that she wanted the group to have diversity of thought. It can become too comfortable if everyone agrees and is of like mind.
Palmer explains that life is like a Mobius strip in that there is only one reality: whatever is inside us flows outwards to form/ deform the world and whatever is outside us flows in to help form/ deform us. We are constantly co-creating with the Universe and that means the phases identified by the wall and the circle are just powerful illusions.
This leads neatly onto sovereignty something that we played with at the last gathering of Sacred Space for the Soul. The concept that we are the kings and queens of our own kingdom and are co-create our reality. In other words whatever is showing up in your life, however painful or difficult is there to help you on your journey.
This brings me to an underpinning belief at play in Sacred Space for the Soul and that is we start from the space that each person is naturally creative, resourceful and whole. It is not about fixing each other or giving advice. In fact, as Andy Bradley describes in his TED talk, it is about developing a quiet mind and an open heart. We all have a deep longing to be seen and heard so we need a safe space where we can be vulnerable and not feel judged. Or as Ram Dass writes the quieter you become the more you can hear.
How can you move away from the urge to fix and become a compassionate listener? It comes when you can look at Osho’s words and claim that truth for yourself:
The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it is not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of the other person – without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.
How does that work in a circle of trust? If you can really respect the fact that everyone else in the circle is on their own journey and that your truth is yours alone then there is less danger of falling into what Palmer refers to as “amateur psychotherapy” which at its worse is a form of interpersonal violence.
I would love to hear what you think of these thoughts and the work that I am doing in the comments below. If you want to find out more about my sacred space for the soul concept and how that could work for you, do get in touch.
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Kate Griffiths is known as the soul whisperer. She creates a safe space for therapists and those that work with others so that they can experience their true selves and obtain more ease and flow in their lives. Clients include conscious business owners and leaders who recognise that the old paradigm way of doing things does not work and want support in determining what the new ways of doing business look like. She will be running a half day sacred space for the soul day at Barefoot Therapies on Tuesday 18 March so get in touch if you wish to participate.
Kate…..this is a powerful conscientiousness raiser and I swim in your sea. It has taken so many years of bumping up against my own walls to come to a place where I get:
“whatever is inside us flows outwards to form/ deform the world and whatever is outside us flows in to help form/ deform us. We are constantly co-creating with the Universe”
how freeing and sweet it is to let go of the drive to control …to remake others and the world into your vision. what is left is the simple isness…and a desire to be with me and others.
Bless you Susan that is so true. 10 years ago I would have and did try to fix my friends and could not see why they did not appreciate my care. Now I take a very different approach and just let people find their own way; all the while holding the space for healing to happen.
Kate, a great post and combination of insights. From the center of the place and state of being/grace you describe, I find myself thinking about energy. This is not terribly clear or formulated in my mind, so apologies for any fuzziness; but with that proviso, I would love to hear your thoughts.
It seems to me a lot of ego-based interaction, per-transcendence of, that you allude to in your response to Susan’s comment about fixing friends involves a tremendous amount of outgoing energy; and, I agree 100% with the characterization of that as being a kind of violence.
Once past the disconnected and disaggregated “I,” it seems, at least experientially, that energy is replaced with mindfulness/awareness and presence. What I keep ruminating on is that there is a kind of energy or power in that place, not necessarily experienced subjectively, but exponential in terms of potential and effect.
The question becomes how that actually “works” in the world. We all can identify the people who have exhibited it through their impacts, contributions and legacy presence well past their corporeal visit.
Not sure whether the above makes sense; however, I can’t help but feel that it is important to ask in the face of the challenges we face as a species, and the importance of figuring out how to accelerate and amplify our vision for the commons in service to our own survival.
Your thoughts would be gratefully appreciated.
Doug first of all I would like to thank you for being so open to explore these ideas in a public forum. I believe that that is the first step to the kind of change that you desire.
The place to start is always with oneself. In my experience as I plug into my true self through my mindfulness practices; what I read etc then stuff in my outer world aligns and I start to meet the people that value all that I stand for and actually want to pay to hear me speak.
The idea behind my latest experiment, Sacred Space for the Soul, is to see what happens when we get a bigger group together. What will the ripple/ impact be not just for the individuals or the group as a whole but their wider community?
Energy is always at play and emerges as your soul speaks i.e. you speak from your core/ centre into the centre of the circle. Silence and safety are key to enabling this to emerge as well as honest, open, agendaless questions. Hope that gives some clarity 😉
Authenticity and Vulnerability are the two sides of the coin of Trust. At the flip of a perspective one can become the other. When you spin between them fast enough they become indistinguishable from one another and merge into a what we experience as Trust. At any time when you touch this Trust you may catch Authenticity or Vulnerability. Only when you are with it without interference do you experience Trust.
Love the analogy of the coin Jazz it makes it come alive. You have really added to my brief reference to the role that vulnerability plays in creating a sacred space for the soul. And it is funny that you talk about trust because that is my word for 2014 – I am on a quest to strengthen my trust muscle. It feels as if we have both come a long way since that meeting in your home where we talked about the power of conversation 😉
Yes, converse things in motion are conversation. The more powerful such duality spins the more rapport in the conversation.
I am loving this idea that you offer around the relationship between duality and rapport and I am playing with it as I form the structure for my day on 18 March. Thanks Jazz.
great article which resonates with my own experience, & my own work. Great talking with you today too. (light bowl healing)
Great that we are connecting here too Michele and I look forward to learning more about your work too as we get to know each other. So thrilled that you got so much out of the other comments too. I learn from everything that people write, it broadens my perspective.
Loving the synchronicity that we are creating and hope the connection with Maria leads to great things 😉