This week a wonderfully funny vivacious woman died; she wasn’t even 50. She left behind her life partner and two young children. In such a situation to say an attitude to gratitude will get you through or love is all there is seems crass. It feels as if her life was cut short and what we realised is because she and her family moved to another country and we were getting on with life, we haven’t seen her for years. And yet she was a part of our crowd and went to University with my husband. When these shocks come: what helps is to breathe through it and be with all the messiness of the conflicting feelings you are having. In fact it is only when you make friends with those feelings that you can find a way through.
It has been a tough time for many of late, strong emotions have been intensified by the full moon that occurred earlier this week. What helps is to slow down; to be gentle with yourself; and find a space where you can be real and raw and so release whatever you are feeling inside. That’s where a good friend or a coach can help.
What’s happening underneath the surface
A part of you doesn’t want to be in a mess so you go into resistance. It’s as if you are saying Not like this. What can help is if you can come to a place of acceptance even if it is not what you want and come to believe Just like this. Yes it’s about trusting the flow. Try it and see what happens. My sense is you will begin to stop wrestling and let go.
Why does this work?
The fear or pain you feel is really your wounded child that doesn’t want to be hurting anymore. Then your ego kicks in putting thoughts in your mind in an attempt to protect you and control what’s happening. That never works. You need to make friends with the feelings. I do it by talking to my fear and pain, acknowledging its presence in my system. After a while it will stop clinging on and let your higher self lead. When you take a step back and watch this play out you can see what’s happening. You are moving from forcing the outcome to trust. Force depletes your energy and leads to exhaustion whereas trusting that you are supported by Source enables life to become more spacious. In the moment you make that shift, you allow spirt to come through you and so miracles start to happen. The process is not immediate and requires a bucket load of compassion!
So remember it is okay to go slow, take time out to regroup. You are only ever in a race with yourself; no one else! For more on acceptance watch my latest video.