What does 2019 hold for you?

Yesterday I was out on a walk and I noticed that a neighbour was already taking down their Christmas decorations even though it is only 2 Jan. For him the festivities are over and it’s back to reality and I sensed he felt quite flat. I love this time of year because there are still a few days before the busyness of a new term kicks in, allowing space for each of us to get clear on what we want to create for the coming year. So if you want to get a taste of what’s in store for you and some ideas on how to create a fantastic year read on.

Colour is very closely aligned to numerology so when we look at the highest frequencies of the year, we get the G19 bottle featured here.  What image or phrase comes to you when y

The highest frequency of 2019

ou look at these colours? Platinum resonates at a very high frequency and what I sense it is saying to us that we too can have the bliss it promises if we take time to be rather than do and allow ourselves to tune into the sound of creation.  This only happens when we really slow down something I always make time for in that space between Christmas and New Year.  It is often at that point I get a sense of the shape the next year will take for me.  Consider what regular practices do you have that allow you to tune into yourself?  Remember any new practice needs to be easily added into your schedule so that you will be able to maintain it.

Walking meditation is something I practise and I became rather addicted to this form of exercise last year when I agreed to enter an ultra marathon in July.  It provided the discipline I needed to train in all weathers.  This year I have taken a different approach by signing up for the #walk1000miles challenge.  I have just purchased the Country Walking magazine, available in any large supermarket, so I have my chart to plot how many miles I walk each day.  There is also a facebook group you can join and a pledge you can take.  Find out more here.  This is very easy for me because a year ago I  made a decision that I would be fab at 50 and that meant I had to get fit and stay fit.  In choosing your focus, spend time getting clear about what is important to you because if there’s emotional commitment, an intention is much easier to keep.

This is hardwired into me because I heard a resilience expert speak eight years ago when I was running a leadership development programme for PwC.  He maintained that the three most important elements to building resilience are getting 8 hours sleep a night; eating well and regular exercise. With a healthy body you are a step closer to having a healthy mind.  So many of my clients that are really struggling have turned to comfort eating as a way to dull the pain.

Just as your cooker gets dirty so you can become despondent when you place no attention on who you are becoming.  Just as over time silver becomes tarnished if it is not polished, so your natural brightness will dim if not attended to.  You may distract yourself by watching too much mindless TV.  To help you reset,  I am setting up a consciousness experiment.  It will start with a one day workshop on 11 or 18 Jan and continue with virtual monthly top ups of an hour.  If you are interested in getting involved do get in touch as there are a few more places available.

In summary whatever steps you take to create a great year for yourself, know that the key to getting the most out of 2019 is to build your self love and compassion muscle so you can then  extend that to your nearest and dearest.

 

 

 

How do wholeness, belonging and connection relate to business?

Being whole is incredibly challenging because it requires you to accept all of who you are not just the bits that you believe others will like or the parts of your life that appear to be successful.  So often we can get lost in a process and forget how it is to be of service to us.  In recent times there has been huge emphasis on the value of appreciation in terms of raising the vibration in your life: I often teach about its importance in my mindfulness-based programmes.   However, if in following this practice, you forget to be real and acknowledge all of your feelings then there is a degree of misalignment.  This is very challenging especially for business owners because there is a belief that people only buy from those who are doing well so in that scenario being too transparent could jeopardise your sales.  And at the end of the day, there is no magic formula.  It requires discernment and listening to your body wisdom to determine how much of yourself you are going to reveal.

When I unveiled this insight, unexpected things happened.  I understand that the recent eclipse brought up many deep things for people and had a momentous impact so if that was your experience know that it is part of what has been in the energy of late.  For me, a relationship that I thought was really solid started unravelling and my attempts to minister to it were inept I now realise.  I thought I was being open hearted and creating a loving space.  I managed it for four days until I was triggered and then I went into shut down.  It was hugely painful and one of the most challenging pieces was being with that and feeling unable to share my feelings because I felt as if I was being watched, scrutinised and judged.

Healing has come in unexpected ways.  Here’s the first part of the learning if you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got.  Last Wednesday I did a biodanza class for the first time.  I have been meaning to give it a go for ages but it meant taking a whole day off to attend because I wanted to incorporate lunch with a client who’s becoming a friend.  It was an incredible experience.  The whole focus of the class was on connection so what synchronicity.  What struck me most was that friendship is like a dance, it starts almost by inviting another into our world and sharing some of our special things with them and admiring some of their insights and wisdom.  This is the forming stage of the relationship which is beautiful and is about invitation.  Some time down the line there will be an element of conflict otherwise known as storming and if the relationship manages to weather the storm you come through that to norming and performing.  Together you weave some of your story before it is time to go your separate ways.

There was something very subtle about the whole experience.  It was also very moving and intimate.  When you look deep into someone else’s eyes you catch a glimpse of their soul.  This can be incredibly scary and often quite emotional.  For me there were moments during the experience when I wanted to run for the hills and yet I stayed and got in touch with the rawness and the depth of the feeling.  As a spiritual being I have recognised that the path to wholeness comes through allowing my body to feel and process my emotions.  This can only happen when you give yourself space to do this and when you feel safe.

You will feel safe when you feel loved rather than judged.  You will need space and grace to love unconditionally and to bring all of who you are into a relationship rather than feeling only certain ways of being are allowed in that space.  Silence is a valuable component and gentleness is balm for the soul.  For me the deer represents many of these qualities.  In a difficult situation, it is vital that you speak from your heart with love and kindness as that gives you the most opportunity that your message will be heard.  And perhaps the most valuable tools of all are the use of clean language and questions.  The former because it is then less likely that you will trigger the other person and questions like What do you need right now?  This last element is vital as without it, as I learnt to my cost, you are more likely to be making assumptions about the other person’s state and it will be harder for them to feel safe in your presence.  Conflict is an opportunity for you to step into your power by being clear about your boundaries whilst being compassionate and communicating mindfully.

As I discovered yesterday when tasting some constellation work, a theme that underpins all this is belonging.  I have often felt torn in this regard as I pride myself on being my own person and so celebrate my otherness, my maverick nature.  And yet the cost of that are constant reminders that I don’t belong when I really want to feel a deep level of connection.  If you look you too may hold this tension.  A question to ask yourself is how much do you compromise your own values in order to feel a sense of belonging in a system?  That system could be your family, your friends, work or any community to which you belong like the Mums in the playground.  The profound insight received from this work was that everything in our lives serves belonging.  You may wish to contemplate that yourself and see how true it is for you.

Finding connection, belonging even,  with others through friendship is a beautiful gift and is one of the things that gives meaning to life.  However it can be fragile and become all encompassing at times.  So as the packages say handle it with care.  Lastly remember that you are part of a myriad of systems that started with your family and so it is important to heal those that are not functioning in an optimal way.  Most of our issues start with how we experienced our place in the family and disconnecting may feel easier but in fact it consumes much more energy.  So whether you choose colour therapy, constellation work or another form of healing, invest in yourself.  The path to wholeness can be tough and yet it is also rewarding as it enables you to experience much more lightness of being.

Following some time with the lovely Anya Pearse I have changed the way that I write my blogs.  I would love to have some feedback on that…does this new style work better for you or not?