If you look at most photos of couples being intimate with one another whether it’s heterosexual or same sex couples, there’s one thing they have in common. Do you know what it is? As they go in for that deeper connection, they both tend to have their eyes closed.
In a way it is intriguing that individuals go within to make that connection to another when what each person on the planet longs for is to be seen in their wholeness by another. Why do people close their eyes?
How are you with intimacy?
Feel into what happens when you hold the gaze of another. It can strip you bare as they look deep into your eyes, the windows into your soul. Intimacy is only possible when you have a deep relationship with yourself – makes sense when you break the word down – into me I see. What is your relationship like with yourself?
Emotions come up with moving
I wanted to explore this topic for two reasons this week. First there has been a rollercoaster of emotions in my family over the last week or so as we said goodbye to “our forever home” after 13 transformative years there and moved to another county. Leaving the countryside, we now find ourselves in a city! It is a great adventure but not unsurprisingly it has unleashed all sorts of feelings.
The role of the body
One of the ways to reconnect when life is unsettling is through the body. Forget about words and rely on touch to rekindle the intimacy and the connection. And give yourself lots of space just to be with how you feel without judgement.
People avoid intimacy so as not to experience rejection
The second reason I want to broach this subject is that earlier this year I thought I had found a member of my soul family. So often conversations with people you meet through social media can feel as if you are shouting from the mountain you are on to reach them on their mountain. This time felt very different. It was so easy to be in his company. I realise now that for the first time in a long time I felt seen. It was such an expansive and wonderful experience like breathing in pure oxygen.
I totally relaxed and shared my vulnerability and it was too much for him. A door closed and the intimacy we had shared was gone. The pain was intense and after the initial wave had washed over me, I reached out again but there was no space for me.
Silence and being with yourself allows healing
How do you come back from rejection like that? You allow yourself to be with the grief. Let it wash over you – lilac is the colour to work with when dealing with loss. There is a beautiful heart connection meditation with Lilac Angel that can add the healing process.
Sitting in silence and tuning into your heart will help you build your connection to the Oneness. Then you realise you are never alone and that your grief will pass too.
And as your relationship with yourself deepens, you will choose to seek out the silence. I knew that many emotions would surface at this time which is why I have stepped back from all social media during August. This is allowing me to be with my family and to practise deep self care.